WWW Blog: Superman 64 vs Big Rigs
WWW BLOG: SUPERMAN VS THE BIG RIGS TRUCK
(SUPERMAN 64 VS BIG RIGS: OVER THE ROAD RACING)
“My life is full of mistakes. They’re like pebbles that make a good road.” - Beatrice Wood
LET’S BEGIN
Hey there, you might be wondering why I’m stuck in hell? Well apparently eating Black Licorice costs damnation (I don’t regret it). When I slipped on a banana peel and landed in hell, Satan himself gave me two options: To either make a Blog on the two characters you see in the title and do full in depth research on them for several days, or suffer endless pain and torture for the next 10,000 years. Now some would say that’s the exact same thing, and it was a coinflip, however I landed on tails so…
SUPERMAN, the Nintendo 64’s very own superhero!
THE BIG RIGS TRUCK, the Over the Road racer!
While people have complained that gaming has gone downhill in quality, with companies starting to care less about quality and rushing development, it turns out that people are just stupid AS THIS HAS ALWAYS BEEN A THING! And these two protagonists of the games of all time are the perfect, albeit extreme, cases of this.
Anyway, no need for more fancy introductions, they will fight now! Assuming they actually fight and not struggle with controls and poorly designed mechanics. Will Superman save the day, or will the Big Rig run over Superman alive. Ok maybe that’s a little gruesome. Regardless, let’s answer…
WHO WOULD WIN?!
WHAT WILL WE USE?!
As you probably expected, the canon for both isn’t too complicated.
For Superman, the only thing that will be used is the Single Player and Multiplayer mode of Superman 64, along with the game manual for additional context and background info.
For Big Rigs, the original game and all versions of it will be the focus, along with the sequel “Supercharged Midnight Race Club.”
BACKGROUND
SUPERMAN
“Then there is no time to waste”
Real Name: Clark Kent
Age: Likely late 20’s to early 30’s
Height: 6’ 3
Protagonist to one of the worst games ever
Superhero of Metropolis
Likes: Saving people
Dislikes: Kryptonite
Is Super…man
The concept of a superhero has been around a while. Figures meant to represent the best of humanity, protecting us to achieve peace. It’s a comfort dream we have to inspire ourselves in the real world, and when it comes to superheroes, none of them compare to the legendary Superman. I don’t need to explain Superman’s origins or who he is, he’s that iconic. Every reality has a Superman that can save them! Unfortunately, that includes this reality.
This is Superman 64, a game notorious for its awful controls and being an unpolished and ugly mess. The game's plot is that Superman must rescue his true love who’s always been there for him and Lois Lane from Lex Luthor, who has trapped both Jimmy and Lois in a virtual Metropolis.
The game may have been critically panned… yeah I don’t know what else to say, the game does suck lol. But even then, at least we can rest easy knowing that even in the worst of places, there is a Superman ready to save the day. Even if it’s in a low poly buggy world…
BIG RIGS
“...”
Full Name: Big Rigs: Over the Road Racing
Age: Unknown
Standard Height: 13’ 6
Protagonist to another one of the worst games ever
Illegal Load Hauler
Likes: Breaking the laws of physics
Dislikes: Being in a functional game
Might be a living truck (looking inside the model there is no driver)?
When it comes to thrills, racing is definitely one of the most popular activities that give that adrenaline rush. Seeing the sheer speed of the contestants and noticing their skills in maneuverability, it definitely gives people a rush that is desired. However, one of the most important things of racing is rules, the need of a second person, borders around the map, specific requirements to win, etc. Taking that away removes the fun and intrigue of racing, but nobody would break all of those rules right?
Well the one game that did was known as “Big Rigs: Over The Road Racing!” The story according to the box holding the game is that you are hauling loads while trying to evade the law. However, due to a severe lack of time, the game was extremely unpolished and unfinished. There was no collision, no time limit, the opponent didn’t move, spelling mistakes (I can relate), and so many other glitches. The game was a disaster and the Big Rig went from being a normal truck into an abstract force of nature purely due to how easy it was to break the game.
It isn’t all bad though, despite the critical scores being lower than the amount of brain cells I have, there is a semi happy ending. Once this game became public knowledge to the internet again, several memes were posted turning the game from a disaster into an ironic masterpiece. The bit went so far that the actual company who developed it re-released it on steam during April Fools. This game has a very odd legacy, but perhaps not a bad one.
Anyway, time to have the truck try or successfully murder Superman I guess?!?!
ABILITIES
SUPERMAN
FLIGHT
Probably Superman’s most iconic power, despite it being added to his kit later in the comics. With this Superman can fly to any location he wants, granted with unresponsive controls in the video game.
SUPER BREATH
With this Superman can take a page from the big bad wolf’s book and blow things away. He also can freeze people with his breath.
SUPER SPEED
This allows Superman to “run” faster than he normally could. Although it is slower than his flight so it’s probably useless.
HEAT VISION
Superman’s most offensive ability, his heat vision. It shoots intense beams of heat at his enemies, they’re not lasers! Don’t see any lightspeed statements for them unlike other versions, sorry.
X-RAY VISION
While this may be a superpower that would raise your eyebrow if your friend said they wanted it, Superman puts this to good use by seeing through walls and other materials. Pretty useless in game honestly.
BIG RIGS
INTANGIBILITY
So famously this truck basically says “No” to physics. It acts like a ghost and phases through almost anything in the game.
“SPIDER-MANNING?”
I have absolutely no idea on any other way I could word this. The Big Rigs truck is able to drive on 90 degree angles just fine without losing any form of speed. Even if it stands still it stays on the edge of the 90 degree angle.
REVERSE ACCELERATION
For some reason everything that would make a normal truck drive slower actaually speeds the Big Rig up? Like going up a mountain somehow accelerates the Big Rig faster? Most confusingly, driving backwards allows the Big Rig to accelerate past the speedometer by… a certain amount all right.
FREE MOVEMENT
Even when there is no space to drive on, the Big Rig will keep on driving. Pretty radical if you ask me!
TAB KEY
So a fact that you might not know about “Big Rigs: Over The Road Racing” is that pressing the key will allow the player to switch characters, now playing as the opponent rather than the truck.
FIRE MANIPULATION
Idk, it’s igniting fire in the box art and moving fast enough to create it as well.
STORM MANIPULATION? (PROBABLY NOT LMAO)
Given how metal the box art is, the Big Rig had to create the storm right? More than likely no, but hear me out… would be funny.
ARSENAL
SUPERMAN
RINGS
I swear this game has more rings you have to fly through in order to progress through the stages than rings Sonic can collect.
REPROGRAMMATION
When Superman uses this, he can turn one enemy into an ally to help fight other enemies, instant pacification. It has shown to only work on mechanical beings though.
ENERGY
Basically a health pack Superman can use to replenish his health.
BIG RIGS
TROPHY
Once winning the 100% guaranteed win match, the Big Rigs truck will receive a trophy with a spelling error congratulating it.
VEHICLES
SUPERMAN
MULTIPLAYER MODE AIRCRAFT
In case Superman doesn’t feel like flying through rings, he had this aircraft that he should probably use more often. It is equipped with rockets, homing missiles, shields, mines, and plasma cannons.
BIG RIGS
…are you serious?
FORMS
SUPERMAN
Nothing…
BIG RIGS
TRUCK VARIATIONS
The Big Rig can take the form of 4 different trucks: Thunder, Megaone, Thunderbull, and Sunrise W12!
MENTALITY
SUPERMAN
Superman actually has shown moments of intelligence in this game surprisingly. He knew how to work a computer and properly insert an access code chip in the computer and is a skilled puzzle solver.
But Superman is more known for being a fighter which definitely holds true for this version. He’s able to box several supervillains and has used his powers to keep his distance from getting smacked.
BIG RIGS
Now you might not expect this, but the living car actually does have some intelligence and skill we can talk about. As shown in the box art, the Big Rigs truck is skilled enough to escape cops which is somewhat impressive given cops are specifically trained for these kinds of scenarios.
Luckily for us, on the back of the box is some background information as mentioned previously in the “Background” section (You read that right?). The Big Rigs truck has been able to haul presumably illegal loads and has been getting away with it for a while. Now the Big Rig's truck technically has no true combat experience, but if you’re fighting a truck, chances are your “skill and IQ advantage” would mean nothing compared to the Big Rig running you over.
RESISTANCES
SUPERMAN
Heat Resistance: Superman's eyeballs don't immedietly burn up when he uses his heat vision and he can survive explosions which are typically hot.
Cold Resistance: Superman's enemies can all withstand his Super Breath so why can't Superman?
BIG RIGS
Heat: The box art has the Big Rig travel near flames without combustion so it’s assumed a resistance to heat exists.
FEATS
SUPERMAN
Defeated: Lex (kinda), Brainiac, Darkseid, Parasite, other goons
Thwarted Lex’s evil plan
Escaped the digital world
Saved Lois and Jimmy
Managed to fly through all of those rings
Managed to defuse bombs
Eliminated AVGN’s brain cells
STRENGTH
SPEED
DURABILITY
BIG RIGS
Defeated: The CPU and the Law
Has a perfect win loss ratio
Broke the game very easily
Has successfully avoided the Law
Traveled backwards very fast
Phased through a bridge
Got a trophy
Eliminated AVGN’s brain cells
STRENGTH
Kinetic Energy goes kind of crazy (329.9 Gigatons)
SPEED
A normal Big Rig can move this fast (35.76 m/s)
“Should” have a max speed limit of 160 mph as seen above (71.5 m/s)
Traveled 12.3 Undecillion mph… WAIT WHA- (18.3 Octillion C) See Before Verdict
DURABILITY
Wheels survive moving at such high speeds
SCALING
SUPERMAN
ROUGES GALLERY
Superman is able to throw hands and defeat all of the enemies in the game so scaling is certain.
BIG RIGS
Nothing…
WEAKNESSES
SUPERMAN
Superman is the world’s greatest hero in his world, but even he has his own flaws. His abilities do have limited usage before a cooldown is needed (aside from flight) and he is extremely vulnerable to kryptonite. Also most of his opponents are very predictable and have basic fight patterns, so any one who goes beyond this would be new territory for Superman.
BIG RIGS
Despite what this analysis may imply, there are a couple flaws of this truck that can be exploited! For starters, being a truck is difficult in a fight occasionally as you have no hands figuratively and literally. The Big Rig has no true combat experience, just racing and chase experience. Also it can’t do much without moving so that is a problem. It’s also very easy to crash the game.
BEFORE WE END THINGS!
SUPERMAN
DCAU SCALING?
Something that you might’ve noticed is that the game is inspired by the DCAU adaptation of the DC universe. All the designs are based off the DCAU and the Superman VA is the same, so you could try and scale Superman to the Planetary to Solar System level feats right? However, there are too many flaws with this mindset.
First of all, this is only focusing on what is shown in Superman 64, not to sound rude but the DCAU Superman is actually good lmao. It kind of goes against the point of this and why I’m stuck doing this. The other problem is that it contradicts the DCAU. There are stories that don’t add up such as Brainiac and Darkseid coming to earth all at once without a global concern, Lex teaming up with half of these guys, and Darkseid getting arrested by the freaking police (I guess he really wanted to be Thanos).
No DCAU scaling! Although that would be cool…
…
Maybe I could do EMH Avengers vs DCAU Justice League someday- GAH! Sorry, got derailed. Back to whatever the heck this is?
BIG RIGS
THE PHASING PROBLEM
So a potential concern people may have is if the Big Rigs could actually make contact with people, after all the game is infamous for having no collision and the truck phasing through everything. A valid question and for 90% of the research there was barely a good answer. Aside from a random helicopter (which is semi debatable in contact to begin with) the Big Rig phases through everything else. Luckily, the sequel actually saves the day…
In this game, the collision is actually existent! The rest of the problems still exist like the speed glitch, but this proves that the vehicles are capable of making physical contact if they so choose.
So yeah, the Big Rigs more than likely can touch objects if it so wished, it’s just that it usually doesn’t because why drive around an obstacle when you could go through it?
THE SPEED GLITCH EXPLAINED
What’s probably the most famous thing about “Big Rigs: Over the Road Racing” is the speed glitch. You see, going backwards actually makes you faster, so fast that you go outside of the map, eventually going so far away from it that it doesn’t become visible. The speedometer keeps on increasing, rapidly exceeding the speed of light by several magnitudes. Eventually once you reach 12.3 Undecillion mph, the game just declares you the winner? What happened?
Well as it turns out, the Big Rig went so fast that it was everywhere all at once, hitting all the checkpoints instantly. So what level of speed would this be?
After looking at most sites, the unanimous agreement of speed that would be everywhere all at once is OMNIPRESENT! THE LITERAL FASTEST TIER YOU COULD BE!!! You might think this would be infinite speed, but that implies the Big Rig moved at all when in actuality it is literally EVERYWHERE possible in the game.
Now don’t get this confused, this wouldn’t likely 100% translate to Reaction Speed since the Big Rig isn’t really reacting, it’s more of a state of being. It can’t really dodge since it’s literally everywhere. So the 12 Undecillion mph would be the maximum reaction speed for the Big Rig. Not to mention that in order to reach this ridiculous speed, the Big Rig would have to be backing up for 50 minutes straight.
TL;DR: Yes, the Big Rig is unironically Omnipresent, although it isn’t as game changing as you would think as it’s more of a state of being and it takes 50 minutes to reach this speed in the first place.
LET’S HAVE A LITTLE BIT OF FUN!!!
You know what, since we’re wrapping the BTV up, let’s have a little bit of fun! If we ignored the “kinetic energy feats rules” how ridiculous would the Kinetic Energy of the Big Rig be if FTL and beyond speeds were allowed? Let’s find out!
The average weight of a fully loaded truck is 36287.4 kg.
The speed of light in m/s is 299792458 m/s so multiplying that by over 18 octillion times would make it 1.83413286534379699e+31 times the speed of light or 5.498591999999999e+39 m/s.
(0.5*36287.4*(5.498591999999999e+39^2) = 5.4856595e+83 Joules or…
54.8 QUETTAMEGAFOE! MULTI GALAXY LEVEL!!!
Now obviously this won’t be used, I just did this for fun. Still funny to bring up though!
GET READY!
The metacritic scores are in, it ain’t looking too good. Place your bets! Who’ll win? Who’ll go home the winner? Who’ll suffer humiliation or death? Is Satan satisfied now? Let’s see…
Who
Would
WIN!
FIGHT SCRIPT
(Will this actually happen, or will Trucks get their vengeance!?)
VERDICT
STRENGTH
Starting off, who can hit harder? Now Superman in his own games has destroyed cars, so him being able to rip the Big Rig apart wouldn’t be too out of the question at first. After all, Superman has way more impressive feats of strength, the Big Rig relies heavily on its Kinetic Energy meanwhile Superman has survived explosions and has busted giant robots.
However, the Big Rigs Kinetic Energy is extremely high, able to ram into objects at over 300 Gigatons of TNT. This exceeds even Superman’s super breath being able to push Tornados which at best would be 20.6 Tons of TNT. Hell, even if for some reason you wanted to scale Superman to the strongest of Tornados, it would only be 35 Kiltons of TNT, millions of times weaker.
Hilariously enough, while Superman had better feats of strength, the sheer Kinetic Energy of the Big Rig is very overwhelming. BIG RIGS takes STRENGTH!
SKILL
If you felt bad for Supes, don’t worry, this is a category that he should have little issue with.
The Big Rigs truck is experienced in escaping the law, getting away with delivering illegal loads, and racing. However, Big Rigs hasn’t been in a traditional fight before.
Superman on the other hand has been a superhero for presumably a little while since all the villains have apparently fought him before. Even then, Superman managed to beat them all and rescue Lois and Jimmy in a single day. Superman also showed superior intelligence with his puzzle solving skills. Obviously Superman is the better fighter, having actual combat experience.
Turns out all you need to win this category is to actually have been in a fight before, you would've thought!? SUPERMAN takes SKILL!
ABILITIES
Next up we have abilities and this is an interesting category to go through. We all know Superman’s power kit at this point, and his Heat Visions range and his flight mobility will be useful to avoid taking direct damage since Big Rigs lacks ranged attacks. Big Rigs on the other hand had the ability to become intangible and phase through any attack Superman could throw at it. So Big Rigs can’t really reach Superman thanks to his range and flight, but Big Rigs’ intangibility would mean that Superman has no real way to hurt it. This would normally make the MU a tie, but thankfully both actually have abilities to get past this.
Superman could use his Reprogrammation to instantly pacify Big Rigs into no longer fighting him, and since Big Rigs is a truck and thus mechanical, Superman should easily be able to use this when he collects the power-up. Big Rigs on the other hand could simply use the Tab Key to switch bodies with Superman. At that point Big Rigs could use the Reprogrammation for itself meanwhile Superman would have no clue on how Big Rigs can switch bodies since the Tab Key isn’t something immediately obvious to be the key needed.
So both have ways to bypass the other's biggest advantage over the other, and both could very easily do it with a single thought. Ultimately the next category will decide what is more likely.
ABILITIES is a TIE!
SPEED
Considering Superman as a character is known for his speed and vehicles are known for moving fast, the category that decides this match being speed is pretty fitting tbh.
As for who takes it? Superman is pretty fast, but Big Rigs is just on another level. Superman can outpace cars, but Big Rigs can outpace police cars which are logically faster since they have to win car chases. Superman can dodge bullets, but Big Rigs can move fast enough to ignite fire which is typically faster.
And this is all without mentioning the speed glitch. Like going Octillions of times the speed of light here is just overkill.
BIG RIGS takes SPEED!
CONCLUSION
SUPERMAN
"..." (He doesn't say anything else lmao)
ADVANTAGES
Easily the better fighter thanks to having actual fighting experience
Flight and ranged attacks will make approaching him difficult
Reprogrammation is an instant win…
Energy could heal himself
Technically has the more functional game
DISADVANTAGES
Loses the Stat Trinity pretty easily
Has no physical way of fighting Big Rigs
Would have no knowledge of the Tab Key if body is swapped
Would probably be caught off guard considering Big Rigs is a living truck
…but is too slow to pull it off
Those rings will be in my nightmares now
BIG RIGS
“...”
ADVANTAGES
Hilariously enough Stronger
A LOT Faster
Intangibility would allow it to avoid all damage
Tab Key would allow Big Rigs to swap bodies with Superman
Would give Big Rigs the instant win of Reprogrammation
Superior speed would allow it to achieve wincons first
Superman wouldn't know how to switch bodies back
Would just likely throw off Superman
Game is funnier
DISADVANTAGES
Technically has no combat experience
Not immune to getting reprogrammed
Sequel isn’t funny bad, it’s just bad
I guess I could summarize this fight with this gif…
Ok but in all seriousness, Big Rigs should pretty solidly take this. While Superman was no doubt the better fighter and had legitimate wincons thanks to his Reprogrammation, he ultimately lacked the stats to pull this off. Big Rigs was just WAY too fast for Superman, also collecting a power-up is a longer process than simply pressing a button at the start of the fight.
Even without either, it’s inevitable Superman would eventually stop flying around to try and fight Big Rigs with his hands. This would spell his doom since Big Rigs is a lot stronger and would likely one shot Superman. Not to mention Big Rigs’ intangibility would make hurting the truck impossible since Superman lacks Non-Physical Interaction.
If you ask me, the fact that a version of Superman is losing to a truck is RIG-diculous.
Who Would Win? Big Motherfucking Rigs!
Anyway, I paid my debt so time to eat more Black Lic-
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