WWW Blog: Subway Surfers vs Temple Run
WWW BLOG: JAKE BRESSLER VS GUY DANGEROUS
(SUBWAY SURFERS VS TEMPLE RUN)
Wait a second?
“It’s not the destination, it’s the journey” - Ralph Waldo Emerson
LET’S BEGIN
JAKE BRESSLER, the Subway Surfer!
GUY DANGEROUS, the Temple Runner!
Gaming has gone through many evolutions, from imagination to board to consoles and since the last decade, phones! While mobile gaming is often regarded as a joke, the people who grew up in the 2010s identify mobile games as the first gaming experiences to help develop the knowledge and skill to play more advanced games in the future. And when it came down to mobile games, the genre that took off the most was the endless runner, a game where you play as a character and see how far you can go before getting stopped, collecting as many points as you can. When it comes to the endless runner, Subway Surfers and Temple Run are easily the most famous series that helped establish the genre.
With that said, one of these games' iconic protagonists will soon stop their run while the other will continue forward. Will Jake be able to do what the Demon Monkeys couldn’t, or will Guy finish the Guard's job? Let’s answer…
WHO WOULD WIN?!
WHAT WILL WE USE?!
So the canon of these characters is a little vague, mainly because they don’t have one. So screw it, they will be fully composited! All the games, tv show episodes, trailers, and social media posts for Jake! And all the games, facebook lore, and the Downloaded book for Guy.
Oh, it should be noted that there is a comic run of Temple Run, but aside from the first issue, it is lost media aside from a couple screenshots. There’s also a limited amount of info for the “Temple Run Run for your lie” book series since libraries don’t have these books strangely. If either issue is fixed, a separate Blog post might be made to update this Blog. It’s not likely they'd buff Guy too crazily anyways.
Also shout out to both Wiki’s for making this Blog much easier lol.
BACKGROUND
JAKE
Full Name: Jake Bressler
Age: Likely 13-17
Occupation: Leader of the Subway Surfers
Daredevil & Troublemaker
Was originally going to be called Slick
Likes: Graffiti, Running, Food
Dislikes: Getting Caught, Rules, Losing Bets
Street Art has been a thing ever since the Streets themselves existed. While it is prohibited in most circumstances, that doesn’t stop the enjoyment people find in looking at them, and when it came to the two developers Sylvester and Bodie, they loved Street Art. They dedicated themselves to making a short student film about it with a street artist getting chased down by a guard. When the phone first came out, it changed the world and opened the window for new stories to be told. Inspired, the two developers decided to adapt their Short Film into a Mobile Game called Subway Surfers!
The game stars a teenager named Jake Bressler as he and his gang of friends called the Subway Surfers create graffiti art and run away from the Guard of the Subway. While they initially ran away like normal people, after accidentally discovering anti gravity technology, Jake and friends used it to create hoverboards!
With these, Jake and friends spend their days running around the world having fun and going on adventures, meeting several friends along the way. WHICH INCLUDES THE BURGER KING!
GUY
Full Name: Guy Roderick Dangerous
Age: 45
Occupation: Treasure Hunter
Expert Jungle Survivor
Scarlett Fox’s presumed ex
Likes: Danger, Treasure, The Ladies
Dislikes: Getting tricked, Rules, Demon Monkey’s
We’re pitting a grown man against a child…
What’s the perfect thing to do with your significant partner? Getting married, having kids, eating lunch together, playing games, helping each other's goals come true? Well apparently another thing to do is make a game as the husband and wife team of Keith and Natalia went on to make Imangi Studios to create fun simple games; they decided that they would create a little game called Temple Run!
The game stars Guy Dangerous as he and a bunch of other Temple Runners from different time periods are transported to the Aperion, a place outside of space and time, as they are hunted down by evil Demon Monkeys because they took their idol.
A simple plot, but even after escaping the Demon Monkeys grasp, Guy got a taste for adventure and is dedicating his life to collecting treasure and exploring the mysterious Aperion, along with other strange realms. While he may be brash, he certainly is brave and is ready to run head first into danger! And also away from those Demon Monkeys!
ABILITIES
JAKE
COLOR MANIPULATION
Probably not the first ability you thought would come up first huh? Well in the Play 2 Plant event, you can give the world its color back when you use your Hoverboard. Weird but fun I suppose.
SELF-SUSTENANCE (TYPE 1)
As seen above, Jake can just exist in space without the need of a spacesuit. Also in the Underwater 2024 map, the Surfers can just breathe underwater.
CLONING
Jake somehow managed to clone himself in the Double Fun Event trailer? Idk how he did this?
WTF?
Yes this is an actual Subway Surfers Tiktok/Short, no this is not the most weird thing I had to watch for this Blog.
SIZE MANIPULATION
Somehow Jake grew to the size of houses in Barcelona to collect coins. Social Media turned Jake into an eldritch horror, didn't it?
TELEPORTATION?
Jake randomly just teleported after finding out there will be free food. Honestly, based.
TRANSMUTATION
Jake just randomly turned that hamburger guy from Fortnite into the hamburger guy from Subway Surfers with a hammer.
TIME TRAVEL? (DEBATABLE)
So one of Jake’s friends (they all share abilities and equipment with each other) was able to randomly time travel to the first version of the game after clicking a link? It’s very difficult to give to them since how they did this isn’t 100% known, not to mention this doesn’t seem to be a controllable time travel, it only travels to this specific point and location. Still thought I should mention it since it’s pretty weird.
GUY
JUMPING
Guy Dangerous is actually a skilled jumper as he is able to jump pretty high. Weird how that’s an ability that’s mentioned twice in a row in these Blogs?
POWER METER
Once Guy collects enough coins, his Power Meter fills which turns him invincible, gives him a massive speed boost, and creates platforms wherever a steep fall could happen.
TRAITS
In Temple Run Legends, the runners have 3 exclusive abilities all to themselves! Guy is no exception here…
SEMI-IMMORTALITY? (DEBATABLE)
So Guy’s body just kept on running after his head was removed from his body. Funny and all but this has scary implications. Whether Guy is technically still “alive” is up for debate but thought I might as well mention it.
ARSENAL
JAKE
MAGNET
With this, Jake can attract any coins nearby to himself. While useless in the base game, it can pull opponents towards Jake in the Brawl Stars collab (yes).
2x MULTIPLIER
Remember when I said every Endless Runner has the usual 3 power ups in Red Ball vs IQ Ball? Yeah, that.
SUPER SNEAKERS
Now here’s the only Power Up I know for certain 50% of players avoid. Strange because it actually is useful, allowing Jake to jump high distances with the most impressive being… well I'll mention the best example in the feats section because it’s absurd! Also in the Brawl Stars collab (hello again) it gives a temporary speed boost and a shield.
JETPACK
This gives Jake the ability to zoom into the sky at incredible speeds! It seems to only be used in a getaway context as Jake doesn’t have control of the Jetpack that would allow him to fight but still useful in the right hands.
POGO STICK
With this, Jake reaches the sky to collect a Power Up. Pretty simple like most of Jake’s arsenal so far.
HOVERBOARD
Easily Jake’s most iconic part of his arsenal. The Hoverboards help shield Jake from an attack, exploding and pulverizing everything in sight. Oh, did I say Hoverboards in plural? Yeah cause Jake has an absurd amount of these things, 300+ at least! A full list will be linked here, but the most notable additions that these bring are Higher Jumps, Teleportation, Glide, 1.25x Speed increase, being Lava Proof, surf through obstacles, stun enemies, and just straight up controllable Flight!
HEADSTART
This power up lets Jake zoom across the sky very fast for a limited time, it is available for the first moments of Jake running.
SUPER MYSTERIZER
This just gives Jake a random Power Up, don’t you love gambling?
HOURGLASS
Adds 10 seconds to a timer, a timer that wouldn’t be here. Useful in a fight, I’m aware.
SUPER BUBBLE
This is just a better Hourglass, but not better enough to be valuable in a fight.
BUBBLE GUM
When Jake eats this, a bouncy pink shield will surround him. As the bouncy part of the utility implies, this makes Jake a little bouncy.
OTHER USELESS JUNK
You don’t need me to go through everything and say “How is Jake going to use this in a fight?” So let’s just move on and say these things exist.
MYSTERY BOX
A Boat's a Boat, but a Mystery Box is a Mystery Box, could be anything! It could even be a Boat! You know how much we wanted one!
KEYS
Ok, back to useful items. These keys can actually revive Jake, kinda. You can’t really say it brings Jake back to life since Jake can’t die gameplay wise but it should heal Jake back to full fighting condition when taken out. Jake also has a huge amount of these even if by an unknown amount.
SPRAY CAN
While this may look like a regular Spray Can, these Spray Can’s that Jake loves to use are actually potent enough to lift Jake up in the air and act like a Jetpack if need be. Jake and friends have also used these cans to shoot out projectile attacks similar to Splatoon, and these projectiles can charge up to turn into a big one and will chain multiple enemies together.
STEREO
While this may look like a normal Stereo that just plays music, its tunes can actually push opponents back and heal all allies.
BUBBLE SHIELD
Besides the obvious protection, it can clear all negative effects given to Jake.
CHAOS GADGET
The Chaos Gadget hits everyone in the area and reverses their controls, pretty simple.
YO-YO
Jake can pick this power up to summon three giant Yo-Yo’s to start spinning around him and destroy all enemies, but does have a time limit though.
SPRAY CAN JETPACK
How many ways does Jake need to fly? Doesn’t he have like 5 ways to fly already, save some items for the rest of us man!
SKATEBOARD
Listen, sometimes we all can’t afford fancy Hoverboards so we have to go with the classics.
BURGER KING MEAL
Those are some huge fries! Where can I get some of those?
MISCELLANEOUS
Guitar
Hat
Toy UFO
Tokens
GUY
MEGA COIN
This gives Guy extra coins, do you think that he could bribe Jake?
COIN MAGNET
With this, Jake can attract any coins nearby to himself. While useless in the base game… actually no this is just useless. WHERE’S THE BRAWL STARS COLLAB?!
INVISIBILITY
This power-up is a Temple Run 1 exclusive. As it states, it turns Guy invisible and has the bonus of making platforms for him to stand on and become intangible.
BOOST
This gives Guy a huge burst of speed that turns him invincible and also gives him platforms for a short time.
OTHER BOOST (ALSO KNOWN AS HEAD START)
Unlike the previous, this is used at the start. Otherwise, it’s basically identical to the previous.
MEGA BOOST
Works the exact same as the former, just lasts a good deal longer.
BOLT
This is just the exact same thing as Boost, just with a Coin Magnet effect attached with them. So it’s just objectively better!
RESURRECTION WINGS
These wings are actually extremely useful! They bring Guy Dangerous back to life and they will continue to do so for 30 seconds straight. They also give him a brief 4 seconds of invincibility! Although it does make Guy a bit slower.
PERMA-WINGS
Unlike the regular Resurrection Wings, these don’t have a time limit and only wear off after the next death!
SAVE ME
This also brings Guy Dangerous back to life, while it doesn’t decrease his speed, it doesn’t give him brief invincibility. It also does cost a good amount of gems.
SHIELD
Protects Guy Dangerous from one hit, does also have a time limit so I guess Guy should get hit if he wants to make this worthwhile.
PERKS
These babies were added pretty recently, and they have some useful… perks.
ARTIFACTS
Some of the treasures Guy Dangerous picks up aren’t just random Totems, a lot of them are quite unique. While it would be silly to bring up every single one, here’s all the Artifacts that could likely be used in combat or is mentioned for a reason.
PICKAXE
AND NOW HE’S PLACING BLOCKS AND SH-
SWORD
Hell yeah! One of the comic covers that is actually findable had Guy using a sword… less than effectively as seen (if you can even see with the poor image quality).
ENCHANTED MIRROR
When looking into a mirror, this sends the looker into an alternate dimension outside of space and time. Does require gems to activate though and it can teleport the user or other unintended targets if used incorrectly.
THE AXE OF LIMITED USEFULNESS
The axe of limited usefulness might be something Guy could borrow from the player. It’s able to act as a normal axe, just has limited amounts of cuts, thus the limited usefulness.
THE IDOL
The thing that started this whole thing, while most treasures are just worth for the fortune and value, this has a couple of uses outside of an economic sense.
If enough coins are collected, it will charge up a meter that can give an extra heart (basically health), an extra jump, increase run speed, and evade obstacles easier.
It also is said to grant wishes, for a price…
So Guy isn’t likely to use this for wishing anytime soon.
VEHICLES
JAKE
BOAT
Oh hey, the Mystery Box gave me a Boat, nice!
GUY
MINECART
Allows Guy to continue his run even in the mines! Should be faster than his running since it’s an effective getaway from the Demon Monkey.
COFFIN MINECART
Pretty much the exact same thing, but if Guy dies it would be more fitting.
DEMON MONKEY SKULL
The runners are pretty resourceful as they use a Demon Monkey’s skull as a snowboard to travel through ice slightly safer (only slightly though).
SLIEGH
Unlike the former, this is actually made to travel through ice. And he uses it like a snowboard… of course.
PLANE
In the Temple Run books, Guy Dangerous gets a license to fly a plane and seemingly has his own airline.
SUPPORT
JAKE
CAPTAIN FLASH & CLOCKWORK JOHNNY
These guys are some of the hottest toys that all the kids want in the Subway Surfer universe. These guys can do everything that Jake can do but at least it gives Jake numbers.
GUY
PETS & PLANTS
Guy Dangerous also owns a large amount of creatures that do stuff I suppose.
Besides what’s shown, all the pets (there are more but they don’t have any other unique features) are able to destroy everything in sight with a blast after having their meter charged by nearby food.
FORMS
JAKE
DARK OUTFIT
So Jake thought that he was cool, but he realized that the only way to become truly cool was to wear nothing but black and wear sunglasses.
STAR OUTFIT
Not gonna lie, this outfit kinda sucks.
ZOMBIE OUTFIT
Don’t worry, Jake isn’t actually a Zombie so he doesn’t get that resurrection and immortality hax.
SERIOUS OUTFIT
We live in a society…
FESTIVE OUTFIT
Why does Jake look like he’s a vampire living in the winter?
JESTER OUTFIT
He less looks less like a Jester and more like one of Santa’s elves.
PRIDE OUTFIT
Oh, Jake is a supporter of LGBTQ+ rights!? Based as hell!
SUPER RUNNER OUTFIT
I couldn’t render the Spraycans very well : (
ELF OUTFIT
Are those fake ears? They have to be right?
OUTATIME OUTFIT
Back to the Future reference, nice!
PIXEL OUTFIT
Ok, how did he turn into this with just costuming? This has to be some form of shapeshifting right?
CHICKEN COSTUME
Ngl, this costume is kinda fire!
8 BALL COSTUME
If you don’t get why it’s called the 8 Ball outfit, there’s an 8 Ball logo on the back.
CREWMATE OUTFIT
Or is he the Imposter?
HAND FORM?
This was just a style in a trailer, don’t question it.
SEAGULL
Jake randomly turned into a seagull, and then he took a shit on a train, epic.
DYNAMIKE
WHAT THE HELL? So if you didn’t know, by picking up a power box, Jake can turn into 1 of 6 Brawl Star characters. We’ll talk more about the crossover scaling BTV but let’s just mention what you can do as these guys in the crossover itself. Dynamike hurls a dynamite barrel at people and destroys any object in his way.
MAX
Max basically uses the Boost from Sonic as she runs at high speeds and destroys any obstacle in her way.
POCO
Poco is more of a Mario Kart enjoyer as he uses the music notes from his Guitarron to block the opponents vision similar to the Blooper.
SPIKE
Despite his clumsiness, Spike can place a useful spiky trap that if run into, the opponent will slow down dramatically.
EL PRIMO
El Primo leaps forward and elbow slams down on an opponent and also slows them down.
PIPER
Last but certainly not least we have Piper! She can shoot a projectile attack from her umbrella targeted for the runner in first place, it will hit them and of course speed them up! NO! OF COURSE IT SLOWS THEM DOWN!
GUY
AVIATOR COSTUME
Remember how I said Guy could fly a plane, guess this costume helps make it more official.
BUNNY GUY COSTUME
Ngl, the slippers look pretty comfy. Although maybe not the best footwear for running for your life.
FRANKENGUY COSTUME
If this fight came down to who had the better halloween costume, Guy would Low Diff Jake I’m going to be honest, it looks like it took a lot of effort.
MAGNUM G.U.Y. COSTUME
So what does the Guy acronym stand for?
GOLDEN COSTUME
Bro looks like he’s ready for the Oscars 😭.
GRIZZLED… “COSTUME”
Adventuring for 10 years straight is bound to affect your appearance eventually.
DEMON MONKEY COSTUME
Guy, my man, you already can turn into a Demon Monkey, you don’t need to wear that, YOU’LL GET THE SCALING!
LUCKY SCOUNDREL COSTUME
Guy is known for his incredible luck, so might as well give him an outfit that helps boost his luck.
BACKWARDS… NOT COSTUME
After Sigur Timebeard accidentally fractured time itself by stealing a cursed item, Guy got turned backwards. Although this doesn’t affect him too much so it’s a nice skill flex I suppose.
MENTALITY
JAKE
Jake is often described as having just “Above Average Intelligence.” Despite this, Jake has shown to have excellent knowledge on the Subways and knows several tactics for not getting caught such as Stealth and Wall Jumping. He’s also shown excellent artistic skills thanks to his graffiti.
Also surprisingly, Jake has some actual combat experience! In Subway Surfers Tag, Jake takes down several of the Guard’s robots (yes he has those) by utilizing his Hoverboarding skills and using his Spraycans. He’s also shown to be competent in races and slowing down his opponents with Power-Ups efficiently, so even in his running style he should be a solid fighter. Also keep in mind he’s keeping up with the Brawl Star cast who are all trained fighters with many years of experience.
GUY
While Guy has shown to be arrogant, he has a bit more intelligence then his friends would probably say. He’s at least smart enough to fly a plane and get a license for it. Also he knows how to swim as seen above. He’s also known as a survival expert which makes sense since he has been doing this for 10 years!
Now Guy isn’t exactly a traditional fighter as we’ve never seen him throw hands properly. Despite this, he’s able to keep up with trained cops and people with military experience so there’s no reason to assume that he can’t defend himself, aside from running of course. He’s shown great adaptability as he’s constantly thrown into harsh environments and is shown to be just fine.
RESISTANCES
JAKE
Heat Resistance: Could survive dips in Lava without death.
Extreme Cold Resistance: Casually exists in space without a spacesuit.
Pressure Resistance: Can run around underwater with no problems.
Electricity Resistance: Got zapped by Tagbot and lived with no issue.
GUY
Heat Resistance: Can swim in pools of nuclear waste with little to no problems.
Radiation Resistance: Same as the former.
FEATS
JAKE
Defeated: The Guard, The Dog, Several Robots, His Surfing Rivals
Traveled across the world
Discovered Anti Gravity Technology
Survived all the memes of the Subway Surfers Social Media Account
Managed to keep up with the Brawl Stars crew
Saved the Crossy Road Chicken
Somehow ate at the same restaurant several times in one day
Subway Surfers managed to survive and stay popular all these years later
STRENGTH
SPEED
Used the Super Sneakers to JUMP INTO THE SUN… (71.3 C) See Before Verdict
DURABILITY
…and survived the explosion from that jump (20 Ronnatons) See Before Verdict
Survived the Blast dimension being destroyed? Debatable, See Before Verdict
GUY
Defeated: Mini Demon Monkeys, Big Demon Monkeys, Ghost Demon Monkeys, he’s defeated a lot of Demon Monkeys as you’ve guessed
Collected many idols and treasures of the years
Presumably escaped the Aperion a couple times
Managed to run backwards
Became the Demon Monkeys
Explored many interesting locations in the Aperion
Presumably got out of the Hall of Wonders
Temple Run helped kickstart this whole “Endless Runner” craze
STRENGTH
Cannon’s AP (62.5 Kilojoules)
SPEED
DURABILITY
SCALING
JAKE
FRIENDS
All of the playable characters are able to do the same things and Jake himself is considered one of the more skilled Surfers so he should scale to everyone.
Yutani created a mini Volcano that started a “floor is lava” event Debatable, See Before Verdict
Fantasma created a pocket dimension? Debatable, See Before Verdict
THE GUARD
There have been moments where Jake can fight off the Guard’s robots and has even hurt the Guard himself. So Jake should compare to his feats.
REAL LIFE
Yes YOU! Jake and friends have interacted with real life people on several occasions in some spin off games and social media. Also the Guard can restrain the real life people, so Jake should scale.
Hanna ran across the world See Before Verdict
A random guy threw a football to the moon… (0.64 C) See Before Verdict
As for the strength of that (1.88 Megatons) See Before Verdict
GUY
OTHER RUNNERS
Guy Dangerous has shown to keep up with these guys so scaling should be solid.
DEMON MONKEY’S
This will likely be a bit strange for scaling since when the Demon Monkey grabs you, it’s presumed the runner dies. However, not only can Guy Dangerous turn into one, but Zach is able to briefly fight them, and Guy can take hits from them, so downscaling in base and scaling in his Demon Monkey form will be valid.
WEAKNESSES
JAKE
While Jake’s skills are impressive, he has several notable flaws. His ability to skate and hoverboard pretty well is brought down by the fact that Jake is aware of his skills and thus is reckless. He constantly does dangerous stunts and often doesn’t take a situation seriously until it’s too late. He also is no killer so don’t expect him to be a combat genius. Finally, his power ups do have time limits.
Also he took a bite out of this smelly sandwich, that’s just gross.
GUY
While Guy has escaped death multiple times, even he has his limitations. To start with, he’s never really been in a traditional hand to hand fight before so fighting, let alone to a child, would be new territory for a good minute. His power ups also have a time limit so there’s only so much he can do before evading a fight. Also he is known for his recklessness and arrogance so that doesn’t help either.
BEFORE WE END THINGS!
JAKE
SOCIAL MEDIA SCALING?
As you’ve probably noticed with Jake, the Social Media account turned Jake from a child into some sort of eldritch abomination. While most of the social media is just weird edits and the Guard throwing it back, there are several memes that give Jake strange abilities such as growing in size, teleportation, and transmutation. Also the feats shown in the Social Media are so much higher in scale that they could seem outlandish. So are they viable?
On the one hand, the Social Media feats are much higher in scale by huge amounts that can’t even be described. On the other hand, it’s not like Subway Surfers has a deep and rich canon and the Social Media has been referenced all over the place, with it being a staple for the community at this point. There would be some concerns if it was taken away since Social Media feats are also being given to Guy Dangerous and it wouldn’t feel complete without them. ALSO I DIDN’T WATCH ALL THOSE BRAINROT SHORTS TO NOT INCLUDE THEM IN THE END!!!
But for the sake of argument and to address other potential concerns, Guy Dangerous will hypothetically have two separate rounds, Social Media Jake and the more “canon” Jake. It will be mentioned if removing the Social Media feats or adding them would impact the verdict or not!
CROSSOVERS?
So you might’ve noticed a couple crossovers in Subway Surfers such as Crossy Road and especially by now Brawl Stars. Considering both ip’s have actually physically interacted with the Subway Surfers cast and have their own expanded universes as seen in this picture, you could make the argument of scaling Jake to the Relativistic and Planetary feats verses such as Brawl Stars, Boom Beach, and Shooty Skies can get up to. So do you include the Crossover scaling?
Now Subway Surfers canon is almost non-existent and Jake has proven himself being able to scale to them so you could make an argument. However, the goal is to find out how strong Jake is on his own merits, so scaling him to other series might be redundant. But more importantly, it makes things more simple and it would be unfair to Guy Dangerous since he doesn’t have the potential crossover scaling like Jake does.
TL;DR: While an argument could be made for Jake scaling to the series he’s crossed over with, it will not be a factor in the debate for this Blog.
UNIVERSAL SUBWAY SURFERS?!
Probably not the character you’d expect to have Universal arguments but here we go. So there are a couple feats that you could possibly use to prove Jake to reach Universal levels. However, the arguments are a little flawed to say the least. Let’s go through them…
The Blast Dimension: So this one is weird since the impressiveness of it is a bit up in the air. You might immediately pull out the Universal arguments but it isn’t clear on how big the Dimension is. There is nothing implying that the Dimension is anywhere near comparable to our Universe, if anything since it fitted in a room it would be smaller than a house more than likely. Not to mention that you could argue that Jake didn’t tank the blast and more of the Dimension is collapsing around him.
Fantasma: So firstly you’d have to consider Jake comparable to someone he and all his friends couldn’t escape or fight back against. Secondly, we still have no idea how big the Pocket Dimension Jake was placed in. You might say it’s endless since the Subway Surfer world is endless but that’s not true. The only evidence that Subway Surfers is an “endless runner” but we know that the Planet has a fixed size meaning it can’t be endless, it’s just a game mechanic.
Until we get more information on the size of these Dimensions (which let’s be honest we never well), Jake doesn’t get the Universal scaling.
YUTANI’S VOLCANO
So Yutani somehow created a Soda Volcano that created a flood of lava potent enough that it filled the entirety of the Subway. While impressive, it’s obviously hard to scale Jake to so it won’t be given. I guess if you wanted to use Yutani for some reason I guess you could include this.
GUY
TEMPLE RUN COSMOLOGY?!
Welp, it was only a matter of time before cosmology was brought up in the WWW Blogs series… and of all the places to start, Temple Run was the last one I thought of.
So strap in folks, this is going to be weird.
So as you know, the spacetime continuum is 4 dimensional which obviously exists in the human world. But I did specify the human world as the Aperion isn’t that, it could be possible it is a pocket dimension or a small dimension right? Well there’s actually some evidence to assume this should be comparable to our own universe! Firstly it’s not like this is some sort of small dimension that’s connected to our universe, the Aperion exists outside of Time and Space (the characters are also transported here from different time periods). The Aperion also has been described as a universe before with planets and stars in the background along with more stars in another background. Finally, there’s some actual evidence that the Aperion has a spacetime continuum. The Hall of Wonders is mentioned to exist outside of Time and Space which could possibly imply that it exists outside of the Aperion and thus its own spacetime continuum. Even ignoring this, Sigur Timebeard fractured time itself in the Aperion, and considering that the Aperion exists outside of the human world, it would have to have its own spacetime continuum!
So with that in mind, other places described as different realms and dimensions should be similar since the Aperion has been worded as both before. That means the dimension Guy was trapped in for a brief moment and the realm Barry forgot his swimsuit in would be added to the count.
Now a genuine question that should be asked is if the Hall of Wonders could be considered another universe, however there is no evidence for it being universe sized since it just held the treasures from the Aperion. So it sadly won’t count.
Finally, let’s talk about what scares every vs debater, the real world! You might understandably confuse this for the human world that Guy Dangerous is from, but the world that is being discussed here is actually OUR WORLD! You see in the “Temple Run 2 Volcano Island in Real Life” video, the Imangi staff encounter a Demon Monkey who portals his way to Real Life after someone took the idol. So this would already add another Universe to the pile, but is it possible there is more? Eh, probably not. Now an argument that could imply higher spatial dimensions is that Real Life views the Aperion as fiction. However there are flaws with 5D - Outer Temple Run (never thought those words would be typed out but here we are). At the end of the video, the runner gets transported to the game itself and while he did get turned into a game model, the fact that he could exist in the realm without causing problems could indicate him being on a similar dimensional scale which would hamper the idea of higher dimensions. Also the Demon Monkey came to the real world with only a portal and seemed to be on a similar plane as the rest, no problems meaning Real Life has the same dimensional scale (even if you still want to argue R>F, Subway Surfers also have met their creators so at best it would mean both of them are higher dimensional if you want to get silly).
However, this video could possibly help imply more dimensions. Temple Run 2 as a game is treated as its own dimension, which could imply the other 9 Temple Run games could be included as well. A potential counterpoint could be that the Aperion seems like one whole universe rather than branching realities, but a possible rebuttal could exist with the implication of the Aperion being one dimension and the games as their own. Now these arguments are shaky but it will be treated as a high end overall.
So in conclusion, the cosmology of Temple Run is a lot bigger than you thought with it having at least 5 universes, with possible interpretations bringing it up to 14 - 15 universes!
Now how does Guy Dangerous scale?
Yeah, let’s not sugarcoat it, Guy Dangerous has no plausible way of scaling to his cosmology lmao. He’s never interacted with it and Sigur Timebeard had to remove an artifact that nobody has any evidence of scaling to in order to affect a singular universe. Sorry, no Low Multi Guy.
So why was this brought up at all? Well where else can the Temple Run cosmology be brought up?! It was too funny not to bring up and all the research was done so consider it a bonus since there isn’t much to elaborate with Guy, he’s pretty simple to scale in all honesty.
GET READY!
The run is no longer endless, which runner will stop first? Place your bets! Who’ll win? Who’ll go home the winner? Who’ll suffer humiliation or death? Why is taking a shower with hot sauce in hand not ok, but cold showers are MOM?! Oops, later private topic… awkward. Let’s see…
Who
Would
WIN!
FIGHT SCRIPT
(Yes the actual Subway Surfers account posted this)
VERDICT
POWER-UPS
When it comes to Power-Ups, there isn’t a clear victor here, both have a lot over the other…
Jake can use his magnet to pull Guy towards him for attacks, use his Hoverboard to stun Guy, healing options thanks to Stereo and Keys, Reverse Guy’s movement with the Chaos Gadget, and blind him as Poco. Guy on the other hand can turn invisible to remain out of sight, turn invincible and intangible to avoid damage, in case he does take damage he has 4 methods of revival and all of them can be used more than once like the Keys, turn into a Demon Monkey to scare Jake a little, slow down time, his vehicles aren’t only restricted on water, and his Enchanted Mirror could potentially BFR Jake to the point of no return since Jake hasn’t shown the ability to travel through multiple timelines, just a singular timeline itself at most.
That’s not even mentioning other debatable stuff such as Guy’s potential immortality and luck making taking him down much harder or Jake being able to Time Travel, Teleport, change his Size into a mini Kaiju, and transmutate Guy.
Both also have a lot of ways to counter the other. Guy could use his intangibility to potentially bypass stunning, Jake could use his ranged AOE attacks to make invisibility a mute point, Guy has experience with reversed movement and can fight just fine, Jake can transmutate Guy in case he pulls out the invincibility card, Guy could slow down time to make up for getting blinded, Jake could use his teleportation and time travel to avoid looking in the mirror, etc. Both even have cloning and their own support meaning those are mute points. Also with Jake’s healing and Guy’s resurrection, taking both down would be hard. In fairness, Guy’s resurrection could be argued to be better since hitting Jake hard enough would kill him, but Jake has a counter by just simply knocking out Guy which wouldn’t activate the resurrection.
Both of their wincons are debatable as Jake’s transmutation and time travel hasn’t been used in the games or show, just the social media which could be possibly refuted. Guy’s BFR also could backfire and accidentally BFR him and he has no experience using it in a combat scenario.
As you can clearly see, both have a lot of advantages over each other and it’s hard to say who’d have the upper hand without relying on other categories. POWER-UPS is a TIE!
SKILLS
Now that we covered the amount of tricks these two have up their sleeves, let’s see what they can do without them. In particular, who’s more equipped mentally. Unfortunately, that category is also vague and hard to find a winner for.
When it comes to Jake, he shockingly is the better fighter here. You’d think a seasoned adventurer like Guy would be a better fighter, but he doesn’t throw hands that much. He should be a capable fighter like most survivor’s, but Jake has proven himself on more than one occasion. Subway Surfers Tag shows off the fact that Jake is more than willing to fight and has defeated hundreds of dangerous robots the Guard uses against him. If that wasn’t enough, him keeping up with the Brawl Stars cast should be more than enough evidence of Jake being the better fighter.
However, what Guy lacks in combat prowess in comparison, he makes up with his superior experience! While Jake has obviously been traveling around the world for a long time, Guy has been doing the exact same but for far longer, in a bigger variety of landscapes, and even dimensions. The Subway Surfers stages often have the same layout while Guy has had to adapt to entirely new landscapes, all with different gimmicks. Guy has also been in way more dangerous situations up against dangerous monsters, while it’s a bit more rare for Jake. Finally, Guy has been confirmed to be doing this for at least 10 years while Jake at most has been doing it for 4 since he has been a teenager for the entirety of Subway Surfers. You might argue the account acknowledging anniversaries could remedy this, but Temple Run has been out longer with more games, so that wouldn’t help much either.
Finally we have intelligence which is safe to call it a Draw. They both have shown expert adaptability along with high knowledge in their crafts. Jake is better when it comes to escaping danger and artistic skills. Guy on the other hand has shown the intelligence to pilot a plane and is an expert survivalist. No clear advantages over the other here.
To summarize, Jake is the better fighter, Guy is more experienced, and they both are similar in intelligence. SKILLS will be a DRAW!
STATS
So far this is pretty close right? I mean they both counter a lot of what they have and have their own useful wincons thanks to their power-ups. They both also aren’t too far off mentally and have their advantages over each other. This is shaping up to be an extremely close fight!
…
So here’s where things get extremely unfair, because…
…
…
…
WHAT IS GUY SUPPOSED TO DO HERE!?!?
Like this is the point of the debate I’ve been trying to avoid as it pretty much answers “Who Would Win” instantly. I know stats don’t always mean everything, but this isn’t one of those cases. Jake absolutely slices and dices Guy in stats!
Don’t get it twisted, Guy is decently strong as he’s able to go through several obstacles, can bust apart rocks, and his cannon should be hitting with over 60+ Kilojoules. When factoring in scaling, Guy would be comparable to Scarlett who can cut crystal trees and comparable to the Demon Monkey who could survive grenade explosions which typically get up to a Megajoule.
However, Jake surviving a train hitting him alone would funnily enough surpass every strength and durability feat in Temple Run somehow? Maybe Guy’s plane crash could match considering most plane crashes are around that level of durability, but Jake can easily surpass this. Jake’s Hoverboard being able to pulverize multiple trains would get up to 596 Tons of TNT! That is a whole lot stronger than Guy, strong enough that if the Hoverboard hit Guy it would likely pulverize him into dust as well.
What about speed? Guy for the most part has shown fairly normal human levels of speed, but at best you could scale him to Santa which would get him to 0.5% the speed of light. This is a little debatable, but even with this it doesn’t compare to Jake traveling across the world with his Hoverboard which is roughly 2% the speed of light, 4 times faster. While Guy has his own speed increases, so does Jake which would keep the gap the same.
And this is without mentioning the social media feats in which the gap in power would become laughable. Jake jumping to the sun is hundreds of times faster and octillions of times stronger. This is such a huge gap that it was considered removing the social media feats altogether as the gap in stats becomes so large that at this point Guy’s revives will be the death of him since he’ll have to feel the pain of death over and over again.
JAKE DEMOLISHES in STATS!
CONCLUSION
JAKE
ADVANTAGES
Takes the Stat Trinity pretty easily
And with Social Media feats, the gap gets ABSURD
Better Fighter
Superior Range and AOE thanks to Spray Cans and Yo-Yo
Keys and Stereo give Jake difficult healing options to overcome
Can Blind Guy as Poco
Flight is something Guy can’t really deal with
Captain Flash and Clockwork Johnny are more effective support
Turning into the Brawl Stars cast would throw Guy off guard and give Jake useful abilities
Time Travel could be useful…
If you allowed Social Media abilities, Jake has multiple instant wincons
The Guard is a national treasure
LGTBQ+ Ally
TIES
Similar in intelligence
Cloning
DISADVANTAGES
Less Experienced in dangerous scenerio’s
Would have to kill Guy several times over and over again
Could possibly get BFR’d
The Chaos Gadget wouldn’t do much
…hasn’t used it in a combat scenario though
Wouldn’t exist if Temple Run didn’t
The non Guard related Social Media videos are hard to watch at times
GUY
ADVANTAGES
More experienced
Invincibility, Intangibility, and Invisibility could make hitting him a little tricky
Has several methods of revival that will be a pain in the neck
Has experience against effects similar to the Chaos Gadget
Could use Slow-Mo to help reduce the speed gap…
Has a larger Support pool…
Semi-Immortality could make beating him a bit harder…
Enchanted Mirror could BFR Jake…
The Demon Monkey is a national treasure
Temple Run is more nostalgic
TIES
Similar in intelligence
Cloning
DISADVANTAGES
Gets washed in Stats no matter what
This pretty much ends thing here honestly, everything is just icing on the cake
Somehow the worse fighter
Jake’s magnet could negate any Hit & Run strategy
Jake’s healing options would make beating him through raw strength impossible
Can’t really deal with Jake’s flight
Social Media abilities are something that Guy can’t counter at all
…but with Social Media feats, the gap would still be too large
…but less effective in battle than Jake’s support
…it’s debatable on if he truly has it though
And Jake could use his Hoverboard and other AOE attacks to instantly pulverize Guy to the point of no return
…hasn’t used it in a combat scenario though
And is very likely to backfire
Lost the culture wars
Y’know, when this Blog started production, I don’t think anyone would’ve predicted this to be as much of a wash as it is here. Like, remove stats and you could probably have an interesting debate, Jake might still win but Guy could definitely put up a fight. But the moment you factor stats is when all hell breaks loose.
Guy caps between Wall and at most Small Building while Jake is that bare minimum on a bad day, and on a good day he is Multi City Block to DWARF STAR LEVEL! Like what do I say here?
Sure Guy could possibly BFR Jake to get past this, but not only is Jake too fast for this to work, but Guy wouldn’t likely use it and it could backfire and BFR himself.
Maybe those missing Temple Run books could give Guy something, but unless he scales to his cosmology or something, I’d still bet on Jake.
Guy tried his best, but he took the TEMP L!
Who Would Win? Subway Surfers Jake!
NEXT TIME!
(Oh hey, trailers exist now!)
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